pounds & persistence

my journey toward fitness and wellness and faith

Really?!!

Weight: 250.1 lb,

The best part of summer vacation is the freedom from work and plans and the flexibility to wake up late and lounge around watching morning television, like the Today show. And this morning, they were interviewing a columnist from Cosmopolitan magazine on a recent survey they had conducted of more than 70,000 people. Apparently, according to the results, 50% of the men reported that they would leave their girlfriend (they were unmarried) if she gained significant weight. The ladies went on to discuss how men could perceive significant weight gain as a sign that a woman no longer cared about her appearance or being sexually attractive to him and that their intimacy could suffer. They also discussed how men are judged according to how their partner looks. The Cosmo columnist even went so far as to state that there was evidence that a man with a heavy set partner was likely to be perceived as less successful or competent than the same man with a fit partner.

Ugh. Really, all I have to say is Ugh. I mean, I knew this information, we all knew this information, but there’s something so jarring about putting that information down in stark black and white on paper for all the world to read. And of course those of us who tip the scale a bit more toward the higher numbers suspected that the world perceived us, and maybe even our loving partners, differently because of our weight, but to confirm that information as more than just our imagination is kinda disheartening. I mean, I know my husband loves me and thinks the world rises and sets where ever my sexy behind happens to be (even though he stumbles through expressing that, like most men) but it’s sad to me that anyone would perceive him as less than the super competent, super sexy, super swagger man he is because of my extra weight.

However, I also want to highlight a comment that one of the women made in passing. She said that a woman who feels good about herself, who is comfortable with her appearance and who has found a weight she feels good about maintaining is likely to be more confident and, therefore, sexy. This is just a reminder that it’s really not the number on the scale that determines whether or not you’re attractive, but the voices in your own head and the feelings about your own body. I may not be at the weight I’d like to be or rocking the jean size I’d like to be, but I know I’m still cute and my husband is damn lucky to know that my sexy behind will be in his bed night after night, irregardless of what anyone else thinks. Like my aunt says, Sexy is as sexy does and that reflects well on anyone’s partner.

To read the results yourself, use this link and read up.

C.C.

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3 thoughts on “Really?!!

  1. Kathie on said:

    So actually I think the article is more about men than about women. I am more interested in the 50% who would not leave their partner if she gained weight. I’m really not very interested in that other 50%. You have seen them on the street, you know who they are, the pitiful creatures. It shows on their faces.

    The survey is really worth reading through and comparing your answers to the results. The Reuters recap is pretty skewed. Funny how information gets spun. If you read the actual survey out of almost 70 questions there is only one about weight and yet that is the one that gets the headline and the interview on the morning show. HMMM. Point worth noting.

    And let’s not forget that amazing statistic that men think about sex every 7 seconds on average. How boring and yet exhausting at the same time…How do they ever make it through a good book??? Just kidding. We love ’em, especially that 50% who would not consider throwing us over the side of the boat if we gained weight.

  2. Kathie on said:

    And another thing, I think the real headline of the survey should read “Only 20% of women surveyed are happy with their sex lives”! Let’s get some focus on that, pay attention to that. 42% of women make an effort to be romantic compared to 12% of men. These are important points.

    But no, we have to hear about the men who would leave their lovers who gain weight! The answer to one question out of 70. Somehow we have to make our way in this world and keep our heads about ourselves. The comments of the Cosmo columnists made me go read the survey for myself. And not surprisingly I didn’t come to the same conclusions that they represented in their comments. It sounds like they were imposing their own beliefs not the facts of the survey results. We have to protect our tender parts and not let others manipulate information for some other gain.

    • Good points all, Aunt Kathy! There is a lot more that goes into the survey than they portrayed on a morning program or, presumably, wrote about in Cosmo. It is interesting, and telling, that they focused on just one question out of 70. I can’t wait to use this as an example with my students of twisting research & statistics! Also, it’s helpful to note that the men & women polled were unmarried, casually dating- hopefully, when one enters into a commitment like marriage, a lot more factors enter into your loyalty to your partner than her Jean size! Thanks for all your thoughtful responses- I couldn’t agree more.

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